The last 48 hours or so have been a very difficult time.  ADF saw the resignation if it's newly elected advocate... after only 23 days in office.  His exit was in part inflammatory, but it was revealing some of what he went through.  The response from the others on the mother grove have been predictably dismissive and trying to lessen the impact.  I know how this goes, I have been on their side and had to make statements for the purpose of unity that I have not agreed with, or which were a selective telling of facts.

This resignation though has brought me to the point where I just couldn't sit by and do nothing.  One big reason I have been quiet in the past couple years is that I feared that speaking up would cost me the job of webmaster.  Yes, I feared that anything I did I would be retaliated against by the mother grove removing me from the job.  My fear was that if i was removed in haste, before things were in a stable state, the website and all that we do online would be jeopardized.  I honestly hoped it was an irrational fear, but didn't want to take a chance.  With the major upgrade of software for the website completed, and everything appearing to be stable, I now felt that I could step down on my own terms, and as of last night I resigned my position as webmaster of ADF.

Now why did I fear retaliation, you ask.  That is a good question.  I have seen it over and over again that certain individuals on the mother grove are vindictive people.  This is not the mother grove as a whole or even a majority of them.  Just a couple individuals.  I have seen them operate in the past to try to do things against others that would be for no reason other than punishment for something they personally didn't like.  When I was in a position to do something, I was usually the one to slow things down try to get everyone to look at what happened objectively and not from a place of emotions.  My fear is well founded  though as I have seen it attempted.

Back to the precipitating moment.  Nick's resignation.  I obviously don't have all the details, and I am sure there is plenty of confidential information that cannot be shared, nor do I wish to know.  What he describes though is a continuation of a pattern i have seen from my days on the mother grove.  I have seen the treatment of the members advocate be the same as what he described done to his predecessors.  I have no reason at all to not believe what he wrote as what the current environment on the mother grove is like.  To say this at all really saddens me to no end.  This is not the church I have worked to help build up.

So, I have resigned as webmaster, but I am not disappearing. I have sent an email that i am sure will hurt, if not destroy at least one friendship.  I expect that there will be fallout from it.  I am prepared to be a casualty of this.  I am fine with that.  I have stood silent long enough, and I will not do that any more.  I will stand by my ethics and principles and work to bring ADF back to what I, and many others, have tried to build and away from where it is heading.  I am not leaving, and I will be demanding sunlight be shown in all the dark places.